Confusion is a feeling that we typically respond to in one of two ways.  When we feel confused we either determine that we can’t figure something out because it is too hard and we give up, or we decide to work through the confusion until we figure out a solution. It can be frustrating and uncomfortable to feel confused and this can lead to feelings of self-doubt.  Unfortunately, all too often we give up and let confusion turn us away from figuring out the problem. 

Infants are born feeling “confused” about the world around them.  Their brains are hard-wired to work through that confusion by exploring with all five senses.  Just watch an infant sometime when they are given a new object.  It confuses them at first, but they work to figure it out as they turn it over and over in their chubby hands. As parents we want to continue to support our children through their earliest years to understand that confusion is not a bad feeling, but a natural feeling as we learn about the world around us.  We will want to help our children identify when they are feeling confused, learn to be comfortable with it and then encourage and support them to explore and ask questions to work through their confusion to find clarity. 

 Pot o’ Gold...

• Find a small pot or jar and decorate it if you wish.

• Find something small that can be the “gold” to add to your “pot” such as pennies, gummies, fish crackers, etc.

• During the week, each time you notice or talk about feeling “confused” be sure to add a piece of “gold” to the pot.

• At the end of the week, you can count/eat the “gold” as you reflect on the “confused” feelings that you noticed all week long.

NOTICE and LABEL “Confused” Throughout the Week...

• Watch for times when your child looks like they are feeling confused.  Talk about how they feel and why?  What does their face look like? What does their body feel like?

• Notice (or recall) times when you yourself feel confused  and “talk aloud” about it with your child. Talk about what has made you feel confused.  Point out how your face looks and how your body looks and feels when you are feeling confused.

• Don’t forget to notice and talk about characters on TV and in books who are feeling confused.  Ask your children how they know the character is confused and why they think he/she might be feeling confused. 

Activities

Puzzles

• Find some puzzles to do with your child.  Be sure they are a little challenging but not so challenging that they are too frustrating.

• Stay close by and watch as your child is figuring out where a piece goes or how it should fit. 

• If you notice that your child is feeling confused about where a piece should go be sure to point out what his/her face looks like and say, “You look like you are feeling confused about where that piece should go?”

• Then you might offer some things to try to figure out where the piece goes?  You might suggest, turning the puzzle piece around, or looking at the picture on the box or finding pieces with similar shapes or colors, etc.

• While you are playing be sure to model feeling confused yourself.  Say aloud, “I am feeling confused about where this piece should go. Hmmm I wonder what I can do?”  If your child is not old enough to help you come up with ideas you can suggest things to try out loud.

Feelings Charades

• Create feelings cards by either drawing your own with your child or print these Feelings Faces Cards (English and Spanish and have your child help you cut the feelings cards apart.  If you decide to print the feeling faces cards listed above, you will need to draw or print an image of your own confused feeling face to add to these cards as they do not include that feeling.  The Spanish word for confused is “confundido.”

• Depending on the abilities and ages of your children, you may want to use all of the feeling faces cards or you may want to pick out a few.  Be sure to include the confused feeling card that you either drew or printed. Put the feelings cards in a pile upside down.

• Whoever is “it” gets to draw a card from the pile and then act out the feeling.  They can’t use words...only facial expressions and body movements to show the feeling that is on the card.

• Encourage your child to think about how their body and face might look if they were experiencing that feeling and then to act it out.

• Players take turns guessing the feeling.  Whoever guesses the feeling correctly is it next.  If there are only two players then players just take turns guessing and acting out the feelings. 

Toilet Paper Roll Feelings Friends

• Gather several toilet paper rolls, markers and any other decorations you would like to use.  Be creative!

• Talk with your child about the feelings friends you would like to create together and make a list.  Be sure to include “confused” as one of your feeling friends!

• As you are creating each feeling friend, talk about a time when you felt that way.  Show each other what your face looked like.  Ask your child what does my mouth look like when I feel this way?  What do my eyes look like when I feel this way?

• Then use your marker and other decorations to create your feeling friend.  Start with encouraging your child to draw (or drawing yourself as your child watches) the eyes and mouth that show what your friend is feeling.  Then you can add decorations to create a scarf or arms, etc. 

• These feelings friends can be used to tell a story.  For example you might make up a story about a time when your friend felt very confused and how he handled it.  Then you and your child can use your feelings friends to act out the story as you tell it.

• These friends can be used in a doll house, to put on a puppet show, used with your child’s blocks or simply used alone.

• Wherever or however your child plays with them, be sure to join in their play and watch for chances to point out and talk about feelings!

More Activities

Balloon Confusion Game

• You will need several balloons and a permanent marker. (You can decide how many balloons to use in this game.  You definitely want more than one because part of the fun of this game is to cause a little feeling of confusion as you and your child decide which balloon to catch!)

• Blow up and tie your balloons.

• Use your permanent marker to draw (or if your child is able have him/her draw) a different feelings face on each balloon.  Be sure to draw a confused feeling face on one of your balloons!

• When you are ready each of you takes 1-2 balloons and then stands in a circle.

• Count to five and release your balloons up into the air!

• You each have to try to catch one balloon before it hits the ground.

• Part of the fun of this game is that there will be several balloons in the air so it becomes a little confusing as you try to figure out which one to catch!

• You can talk about how it might have felt a little confusing as your child tried to figure out which balloon to catch.

• Then notice which feeling balloon you each caught…you and your child can take turns labeling the feeling on your balloon and if old enough can tell about a time when they felt that feeling.

• Then gather up the feelings balloons and start over.  Have fun!

Emotions Faces Fine Motor Game

• You will need milk caps or small plastic lids, permanent markers  and an empty oatmeal (or similar type) container. 

• First cut a slot into the top of the oatmeal container that will be big enough to fit the lids/caps you choose.

• Next, on each cap/lid draw a feeling face. You might also consider printing feeling faces to mod podge onto the lids if you have a printer and some mod podge. (If your child is very young you might not want to use mod podge as inevitably these caps/lids will get chewed on.) Be sure to include the confused feeling face!

• Put all the feeling faces into the container.

• Your child can have fun sliding each face into the container and then dumping the container out.

• As he/she does so you can point out the face and talk about them with your child.  Depending on your child’s age you could also talk together about times when you felt this feeling. 

• This activity has lots of flexibility!  Be creative and have fun with it.  For example you might consider hiding the lids around the house and as your child finds them they can be collected in the can. 

Feelings Book

• Talk with your child about times when he/she has felt confused.

• Show each other what your confused face looks like.

• Either take a picture of your child’s confused face and print it or have your child draw her confused face. (Use a mirror if your child is going to draw his/her face.)

• Protect the picture by slipping it into a plastic baggie (quart size works well).

• You can also make calm, angry, happy, worried, excited, lonely, surprised, sad, silly and proud and bored and thankful face pages to add to your book. (These are the feelings previously talked about in this series.)

• As you learn about new emotions don’t forget to add those pages to your book. You can tape the baggies together along the ziplock seal to create the binding of your book using duct tape or packaging tape.

• Read your feelings book often. Try to help your child remember times when he/she felt that feeling and share times when you felt the same way.