Loneliness might be one of the most difficult feelings to watch our young children experience. We have all had feelings of loneliness at one time or another.  Amazingly, our brains are wired for connection with other people from the moment we are born.

Feeling lonely happens when we start to feel distant (physically or emotionally) from important people in our lives. Even our littlest infants and toddlers experience loneliness as they try to understand and cope with being physically separated from their caregivers. It can be especially tricky to determine if your young child is feeling lonely because often they don’t have the words to express that feeling.

You can help your child by noticing and labeling lonely feelings everywhere you see them.  When your child is feeling lonely, take time to listen, show that you care and help him/her to think of things they could do to feel better.  By doing these things you will empower your child to be able to understand and deal with feeling lonely in a healthy way throughout life.

Pot o’ Gold

• Find a small pot or jar and decorate it if you wish.

• Find something small that can be the “gold” to add to your “pot” such as pennies, gummies, fish crackers, etc.

• During the week, each time you notice or talk about feeling “lonely” be sure to add a piece of “gold” to the pot.

• At the end of the week, you can count/eat the “gold” as you reflect on the “lonely” feelings that you noticed all week long.

NOTICE and LABEL “Lonely” Throughout the Week

• Watch for times when your child looks like they are feeling lonely.  Talk about how they feel and why?  What does their face look like? What does their body feel like?

• Notice times when you yourself feel lonely and “talk aloud” about it with your child. Talk about what has made you feel lonely.  Point out how your face looks and how your body looks and feels when you are feeling lonely.

• Don’t forget to notice and talk about characters on TV and in books who are feeling lonely.  Ask your children how they know the character is lonely and why they think they might be feeling lonely.  You might also talk about what the character might do to feel better.

activities

Play “lonely” with stuffed animals

• Together with your child choose some stuffed animals, puppets or dolls.

• You might model this activity for your child by choosing a toy and making it say, “I’m lonely! I miss my mom and dad.”  Encourage your child to notice how the toy is acting and sounding lonely.

• Then invite your child to have the stuffed animals/puppets/dolls act lonely and make up a story about why they are feeling lonely.

• Follow your child’s lead, but as opportunities arise encourage your child to think about how the puppets/animals/dolls body might be feeling and ways to help it feel better.

The Kissing Hand Activity

• Read the book, The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn.

• How did Chester Raccoon’s mother help him to feel better.

• Talk about times when your child has felt lonely and missed his/her family.

• How did that feel?

• What helped them to feel better?

• Share times when you felt lonely because you missed your family

• What helped you feel better?

• Create a kiss for your child to take with them when they have to be gone and they are feeling lonely and missing you. 

  • You might paint a heart on a rock, cut out a felt heart, cut out a paper heart and put it in a baggie or cut a photo of your family in the shape of a heart.

  • Give it a kiss and put it in your child’s backpack or pocket.

  • Remind him/her that even though they may feel lonely, you always love them and will see them soon.

Play dough Feeling Mat

• Gather play dough, a mirror, paper bags, plates and or construction paper.

• Draw the outline of a head on a paper plate, paper bag or construction paper.

• If you have access to a laminator, you might laminate your face outline to use over and over again.  Or you might try contact paper, clear packaging tape or using a large plastic baggie or page protector to protect the face.  If you don’t have a way to protect the face outline just make a new one the next time you want to do the activity.

• Encourage your child to think about a time when they felt lonely. Provide a mirror and have your child try to make a lonely face in the mirror.  Talk about what their mouth and eyes look like when they are feeling lonely and encourage them to create a lonely face on their play dough face mat.

• Try this same activity creating faces that look calm, angry and happy, worried and excited as a review of previous emotions.  Be sure to talk about how faces and bodies look and feel as well as times when your child has felt these emotions.

Feelings Book

• Talk with your child about times when they have felt lonely.

• Show each other what your lonely face looks like.

• Either take a picture of your child’s lonely face and print it or have your child draw her lonely face. (Use a mirror if your child is going to draw his/her face.)

• Protect the picture by slipping it into a plastic baggie (quart size works well).

• You can also make calm, angry, happy, worried and excited face pages to add to your book. (These are the feelings previously talked about in this series.)

• As you learn about new emotions don’t forget to add those pages to your book. You can tape the baggies together along the plastic seal to create the binding of your book using duct tape or packaging tape.

• Read your feelings book often. Try to help your child remember times when he/she felt that feeling and share times when you felt the same way.

More activities

One Lonely Fish Fishing Game

• Take several pipe cleaners and form a fish shape with them.

• Use another pipe cleaner to form a hook (just bend one end). Use pipe cleaners in different colors for fish and for a hook. This way it will be easier for a toddler to hook a fish.  If you wanted you could also attach a magnet on the end of the hook to magnetically pick up the fish.

• Place mason jars or plastic cups on a table and place fish in each.

• Hand your toddler a hook and invite them to go fishing!

• As your toddler or preschooler catches fish count them and put them in a pile together.

• When the last fish is in the container say, “Oh there is only one fish left.  I wonder how they feel?  Do you think they feel lonely without their friends/family?  How would their face look if they felt lonely?  How would their body feel/look?  What might help them feel better?  Brainstorm ideas for things he could do to feel better.

• Fish them out and help them get back to their friends/family.

Act out lonely in pretend play scenarios

• Pretend play is a great place to talk about emotions.

• Join in your child’s play and use emotions to talk about the stories they are creating! ("Daddy has to go to work, I feel so lonely when he is gone."

Play Feelings Hopscotch

• Using sidewalk chalk draw a hopscotch pattern on the sidewalk and write a feeling or draw a feeling face inside.

• Have your child throw a rock to a hopscotch space, make the feelings face and name a time when he/she felt the feeling written in the hopscotch space.

• If it's raining outside, this activity can be done on a piece of paper with a pebble or a dice.

• Be sure to have several spaces for “lonely” on your hopscotch  board as this is the feeling you are focusing on for this week!

Play The Lonely Little Butterfly

• Gather five sandwich baggies, five clothes pins/pipe cleaners and some paper scraps.

• Create five little butterflies by putting different colored paper scraps into the baggies and sealing them.

• Pinch the baggie in the middle and then fasten a pipe cleaner or clothes pin onto the pinched portion of the bag.

• Now you have five little butterflies to act out the following poem...

Five little butterflies by the door
One flew away, then there were four.

Four little butterflies by the tree.
One flew away, then there were three.

Three little butterflies up in the blue.
One flew away, then there were two.

Two little butterflies out in the sun.
One flew away, then there was one.

One little butterfly now all alone.
She felt so lonely, she flew home.

• Remember as you act this out to talk with your child about how the lonely butterfly would look, act and feel.  Don’t forget to talk about what she could do to feel better.