Feeling loved and connected is one of the basic needs we all have as human beings.  We are born hard-wired to connect with the adults in our lives.  Through research, we know that each interaction (with loving caregivers) actually grows young children’s brains. Without love, young children fail to thrive. Research over the past several decades also stresses that parental love and affection for young children helps them grow into healthier and happier adults.   

So, how do we help our children to feel loved? We want to be sure to spend TIME with our children...

T=Tender

I= Intimate

M=Moments

E= Everyday

When we are physically with them we need to make sure we are truly present.  We do this by turning off the television and our phones and tuning into our children.

We tune in, when we look them in the eye, listen, ask questions and let them know that we are interested in what they are showing and telling us.  We will want to have fun and be playful with them and give them hugs and loving touches daily.  Human touch actually grows brains and bodies and releases Oxytocin (a hormone with many health benefits for the body). Finally, we will want to tune in to our children’s feelings by listening, understanding, and showing them that all of their feelings are OK and important to us. 

 Pot o’ Gold

• Find a small pot or jar and decorate it if you wish.

• Find something small that can be the “gold” to add to your “pot” such as pennies, gummies, fish crackers, etc.

• During the week, each time you notice or talk about feeling “loved” be sure to add a piece of “gold” to the pot.

• At the end of the week, you can count/eat the “gold” as you reflect on the “loved” feelings that you noticed all week long.

NOTICE and LABEL “loved” Throughout the Week

• Watch for times when your child looks like they are feeling loved.  Talk about how they feel and why?  What does their face look like? What does their body feel like?

• Notice (or recall) times when you yourself feel loved  and “talk aloud” about it with your child. Talk about what has made you feel loved.  Point out how your face looks and how your body looks and feels when you are feeling loved.

• Don’t forget to notice and talk about characters on TV and in books who are feeling loved.  Ask your children how they know the character is loved and why they think he/she might be feeling loved. 

Activities

Feelings Charades

• Create feelings cards by either drawing your own with your child or print these Feelings Faces Cards (English and Spanish and have your child help you cut the feelings cards apart. 

• Depending on the abilities and ages of your children, you may want to use all of the feeling faces cards or you may want to pick out a few.  Be sure to include the loved feeling card that you drew/printed. Put the feelings cards in a pile upside down.

• Whoever is “it” gets to draw a card from the pile and then act out the feeling.  They can’t use words...only facial expressions and body movements to show the feeling that is on the card.

• Encourage your child to think about how their body and face might look if they were experiencing that feeling and then to act it out.

• Players take turns guessing the feeling.  Whoever guesses the feeling correctly is it next.  If there are only two players then players just take turns guessing and acting out the feelings. 

Create a “What makes you feel loved?” Poster

• You will need a poster or large piece of paper (or you can tape smaller pieces of paper together), markers and crayons.

• Get your family together and take turns sharing things that make you feel loved.

• As you share, write down or draw pictures representing your ideas on your poster.

• You can then decorate your poster together and decide where you want to hang it.  You should try to hang it at your child’s level so that he/she can easily see it.

• Encourage your child to daily pick an activity from the poster to use to help someone feel loved.

• Be sure you daily choose an activity from the list to help your child feel loved! 

• Whenever a family member does something from the list that is loving to another family member.  Be sure to talk with your child about how it looks on their faces and feels in their bodies when they feel loved.

Read The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn and Create a Loving Ritual

• Get a copy of the book, The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn.

• Read the book to your child and as you do notice the feelings that the characters are experiencing. 

• Point out their faces, how their bodies might be feeling and what caused them to feel that way.

• If your child is old enough, talk about times when you both have felt those same feelings.

• Be sure to especially notice when Chester Raccoon feels loved.

• You can talk together about times when you have felt loved and times when you have missed each other.

• As a follow up to this, you might draw a heart on your child’s palm and kiss it as a reminder that when you are apart you still love and are thinking of each other.

• Or you might draw a special picture or print a photo of you for your child.  Give the photo/picture a kiss and have your child put it in his pocket as a reminder of your love throughout the day.

Read Baby Cakes by Karma Wilson

●      Get the book, Baby Cakes by Karma Wilson from your local library.

●      Get a stuffed animal or baby doll for you and each of your children to hold while listening to the book.

●      Tell your child that this book shows lots of ways to show love to a baby.

●      While you are reading the book encourage your child to act out the actions with their stuffed animal/baby.

●      Help your child to notice the faces of the babies in the story and talk about how they are feeling.  Be sure to talk about feeling loved!

Sing Love Somebody Song

• Play the Love Somebody Yes I Do Song on You Tube.

• Sing this song together with your young child and create your own actions to the song.  It can become a special loving ritual between you!

• If your child is old enough, talk with them about how the song makes them feel when you sing it with them.

Learn or Create Your Own I Love You Sign

• The sign for “I love you” in American Sign Language is the pinky finger, index finger, and thumb pointed straight (with the middle two fingers held down to the palm).

• Teach this sign to your children and use the sign throughout the day to say, “I love you” in a special way.

• Or if your child is old enough, you and your child can create your own special sign that says, “I love you.” 

• Use it often and be sure to talk about how it makes you both feel loved!

Create a Love Dance Together

• Choose a song that your child loves and make up actions or dance moves to do together.

• Tell your child that it is your special “Love Dance.”

• Have fun doing the dance moves together and spending time with each other.

Feelings Book

• Talk with your child about times when he/she has felt loved.

• Show each other what your loved face looks like.

• Either take a picture of your child’s loved face and print it or have your child draw her loved face. (Use a mirror if your child is going to draw his/her face.)

• Protect the picture by slipping it into a plastic baggie (quart size works well).

• You can also make calm, angry, happy, worried, excited, lonely, surprised, sad, silly and proud and bored and thankful face pages to add to your book. (These are the feelings previously talked about in this series.)

• As you learn about new emotions don’t forget to add those pages to your book. You can tape the baggies together along the ziplock seal to create the binding of your book using duct tape or packaging tape.

• Read your feelings book often. Try to help your child remember times when they felt that feeling and share times when you felt the same way.

Hug Jar

• You will need paper or felt, markers, crayons, scissors, glue, decorations and a clear jar/container.

• First, you will want to cut several hearts either out of felt or paper. Be sure that your hearts can fit into your Hug Jar.

• If you want you can decorate your hearts with drawings, stickers, beads, etc.

• Put your hearts into your clear container.  This is your Hug Jar.

• Tell your child/children that whenever someone in the family either feels loved or needs to feel loved they can get a heart out of the Hug Jar and show it to another family member to ask for a hug.

• You will want to be sure that you put your Hug Jar in a place where your children can easily reach it.

• Be sure you use it often at first to model this activity for your child.

• When anyone in your family receives a hug be sure you talk about how it makes them feel loved.

• Point out what that family member’s face looks like when they feel loved.

• Hopefully, this will be an activity that you can use over and over again with your family!